The Difference Between a Reason and an Excuse

They say the difference between a reason and an excuse is which side of the table you’re sitting at.

Reasons for putting off doing an intervention are easy to come up with: doctors’ appointments, court dates, weddings, vacations, “let’s wait and see,” and everything else in between.

Ironically, the same thing is happening with the addict. If he were to go into a good program, he could get his life back and be happy again, if only he would just get up, pack his stuff and start. But he has a list of things he must do before treatment can be considered.

This cycle of promises, efforts, and failures on the part of the addict and his family often continues for years.

Families get results when they stop finding reasons to wait. Truthfully, 99% of the time it’s best to get a program lined up and start mapping out the intervention immediately.

So get a program in place and start mapping out your intervention now.

In terms of the big picture, effective treatment is key—an intervention leading to a program you feel has the best possible chance of returning your loved one to a balanced and controlled state, able to face the challenges and experience the joys of life once again.

If a person can confront his unhappy circumstances, repair the damage to his past and regain his sense of responsibility and identity in an organized and supportive atmosphere, then he can discard drugs or alcohol as a solution.

Dependency on drugs or alcohol doesn't happen overnight; it evolves. Along the way a person’s internal compass gets buried; north begins to point south, west only leads to a desert, and the addict acts in ways that go against his own values in a desperate hope of finding a new oasis. The way back becomes more and more difficult for the addict. Guilt, shame, anger and regret meld together into a blackness that consumes the individual. At a certain point, drugs and alcohol bring only fleeting relief from this massive and ongoing emotional conflict.

As the addict’s betrayals, deceptions, and crimes weigh down on him, he begins to exhibit hostility, aggression, isolation, manic behavior, including bouts of deep depression, no longer able to function in life as he was meant to. Add to this the pressure he may feel from family, from work, from the expectations of himself and others—now a long list of failures and disappointments—and you have someone in very bad shape who will remain that way until the mess is cleaned up.

He has lost his way.

Although they may tell you otherwise, addicts are not happy people. When I used drugs and drank, I had happy times, but in truth, the more I used, the emptier I felt and overall, the more depressed I became. Take action today to get your loved one the help they need.