The 5 Most Common Behavior Traits of an Addict

The behavior of an addicted person is baffling, frustrating, frightening, and sad. The power of addictive substances is so strong that many people are overwhelmed by them. Their actions and words are dictated by their need for more drugs. Those who know and love the addicted person probably can’t understand why they are acting the way they are. Without realizing that drug use is behind the odd, erratic, abusive, or criminal behavior traits of an addict, the mystery often continues for years.

There are only a few people who can be addicted to drugs or alcohol and continue to function at a job or in society. Almost no one can succeed equally in all areas of life. The stress from addiction will show up somewhere, and often, that’s behind closed doors. Thus, wives, children, siblings, and parents may see the worst of the person’s behavior, while co-workers or friends may think things are fine for quite a while longer.

When someone you love is dealing with addiction, the truth can be hard to face. You’re not alone in having a hard time dealing with the personality and behavior changes of the one you love. The list of the most common behaviors below is provided to help you separate fact from the fiction offered by the person with the addiction. Once you know what’s going on, you can make better decisions and take the right actions.

The Most Common Behavior and Personality Traits of Addicts

1. Addicted people lie.

They must tell lies to mislead people about where they were when they were really out buying or using drugs or alcohol. They have to lie about where hundreds or thousands of dollars went. They will lie about where the rent money went or where the home’s valuables have gone. The more they feel they need drugs, the more likely they will feel the need to lie.

When you have trusted a person for years, and then they begin lying to you, it’s very hard to set that trust aside. Family and good friends can be fooled by a skillful liar for years. But all this time, the person is slowly destroying herself.

If a person’s behavior changes markedly and the explanations don’t really add up, you have to trust your own common sense. If what you’re being told doesn’t make sense, then there’s probably a very good reason—you’re being lied to.

You might be able to check some of their stories. Most of the time, you probably can’t. You will have no way of knowing if someone actually siphoned the gas out of her car, causing her to need $20 from you right now. Or if someone stole his rent money, meaning that he needs an instant loan. The real tipoff is that these strange things keep happening to him. Gradually, his life descends into chaos that is camouflaged by these lies.

2. Addicted people manipulate friends, family, coworkers, and others.

In general, the family and close friends of a person with an addiction want them to thrive and be happy. These friends and family try to encourage good decisions, but the person with the addiction is on a destructive track. The allure of the drugs is so powerful that a person feels they need drugs to function, to be able to get through another day and to avoid getting desperately sick from withdrawal. So, they manipulate those who love them the most.

Drugs like fentanyl, heroin, alcohol, methamphetamine, cocaine, and synthetics like xylazine and even marijuana change a person. Someone loving and open with her family changes into someone who manipulates everyone every day, so they will let her keep using drugs.

With love in their hearts, family and close friends try to convince the addicted person to stop using these deadly substances and go to rehab. But her answer?

• “I have it under control.”
• “I can stop anytime I want.”
• “You are just jealous because I can have fun and you can’t.”
• “You never want me to enjoy myself.”
• “You don’t even try to understand how I feel.”
• “You wouldn’t say that if you loved me.”
• And many, many more examples of this type.

Perhaps the most awful type of manipulation occurs between a man and wife or other intimate partners. When caught using drugs, the person with the addiction will promise anything so they can just be left alone. They may promise:

• “I’ll go to meetings.”
• “I’ll start going to church again.”
• “I’ll find another job and keep it this time.”
• “No more spending money on drugs and alcohol, I promise.”

The partner wants to believe the promises, so he lets up on the pressure. He lets the addict back in the home or backs down from kicking her out. As soon as the pressure is off, the person with the addiction will probably be attentive and loving for a little while. Then there’s a binge of drug or alcohol use.

Or the addicted person may call in the middle of the night, crying, begging to see the one they love one more time. If the couple meets, there’s a plea for money just to buy some good food. And then they are gone. The money goes to drugs. It’s all manipulation.

Unfortunately, this pattern of manipulation too often goes on for months or years without there being any change in their addictive behavior traits. When everything valuable is gone, and the children are at risk, the sober partner finally moves away or changes the locks.

The sad truth is that while a person struggles with an addiction, promises can’t be believed. It’s just more manipulation.

3. They are very likely to be engaged in criminal acts.

There may be a few addicted people who escape this behavior trait, but it is typical for an addicted person to engage in criminal acts. Eventually, their money runs out. They have pawned or sold everything of value. They owe friends and family money. They owe their drug dealer money. Their car is gone. There are no more assets, but drugs or alcohol still have to be obtained.

At this point, many people with addictions begin committing crimes. Selling or manufacturing drugs are common ones. Burglary, robbery, identity theft, credit card theft, car theft, and shoplifting are also common. An employee may steal items from their place of business to pawn or sell them. Someone with access to cash may embezzle from a business. Many people steal items from the homes of family or friends.

When a person is in active addiction to prescription drugs, the crimes may be a little different. He may try to visit multiple doctors to get prescriptions for pills. In recent years, many safeguards have been put in place in most states so that these attempts are less likely to succeed. If he can’t get prescription drugs from a doctor, he may check every medicine cabinet in every home he visits to see if he can pick up some pills. Also, drug dealers sell prescription drugs.

Of course, there is driving while drunk or high. Also, some drugs change a person’s personality to make him more paranoid or aggressive, which can result in assault or domestic violence charges.

Unfortunately, some drugs so deplete a person’s sense of self-respect that he or she will turn to prostitution or any degraded activity that will score them their next hit.

4. An addicted person will shift the blame.

Irresponsibility is the name of the game for an addict. This person may have lived their prior life as a highly responsible individual, but drug addiction steals that quality away. In their current viewpoint, whatever happens is never their fault. If they get fired from a job, it’s the boss’s fault. The addicted person was unfairly targeted. If they get in a car accident, it is totally someone else’s fault. Whenever they fail, someone else will be blamed.

Family members will appeal to them to please care for the children and their spouse, please get another job, please stop using these drugs, and so on. Even if they want to, the addiction seems more powerful than the addicted person’s own will. They will be drawn to their drug dealers, drug-using friends, and environments in which they can continue to use drugs. What really has to happen is that this person must be rehabilitated to the point that they are stronger and more powerful than drugs and cravings.

5. An addict is very likely to become abusive.

Tragically, the behavior traits of an addict can take a violent and abusive form. With the delusional thinking typical to most addicts, they may perceive those around them as threatening, dangerous or malicious. As they shift the blame, they may physically, mentally, or emotionally attack those they are blaming.

The spouse, partner, or parent of an addict very often bears the brunt of both the blame and the abuse. They may not be able to do anything right. Mental and emotional abuse may be directed at this family member to completely shut down any ability to effectively fight the real problem—the addiction. It’s normal for spouses, partners, parents and even grandparents to be browbeaten into submission, often for years. Grandparents suffer this fate when parents have given up on an addicted person—at that point, many addicted people appeal to grandparents for shelter and financial support.

Of course, physical violence is a very real possibility, especially toward spouses, children, elderly parents, or grandparents. The signs of this abuse may be obvious or subtle.

1. Unexplained bruising, cuts or sprains.
2. Repeated visits to an emergency room.
3. A more fearful or withdrawn mood.
4. Making constant excuses for the addicted person’s behavior.
5. Fear of being alone with the addicted person.
6. Unexplained changes to bank accounts, insurance, or other financial arrangements.
7. Lack of money or bills going unpaid.
8. Valuable items missing from the person’s home.
9. Evasiveness when asked about their own welfare.

It doesn’t matter what drug a person is addicted to—the need to get and use the drug becomes a compulsion. If it were not bigger and more powerful at this moment than his own will, they would not be addicted. Instead, they would stop using drugs and begin to fix their life.

There is Hope for Recovery After Addiction

Out of this whole tragic, chaotic situation, there is a ray of hope. Rehabilitation and recovery are possible. When a person goes through an effective rehabilitation program and overcomes their need for drugs or alcohol, it is possible to see that bright, caring, and responsible person come back again. It’s possible for them to recover their interest in life and to lose the continuous craving for drugs. The key is to find a rehabilitation program that has an effective approach that enables its graduates to achieve sobriety. Don’t give up. Recovery is possible.

About the Narconon Drug Rehabilitation Program

The Narconon program is a unique and holistic, drug-free rehab program, that it addresses the whole person, the reasons they began to use drugs, and the improvements they need most to stay free from any substance abuse.

An Innovative Approach to Recovery

A precise series of steps walks each person out of an addicted lifestyle and into a strong, sober life that lasts. Families tired of the revolving door of drug treatment seek out Narconon for its innovative rehabilitation program. Vitamins and minerals are used to help the body heal and detoxify from past drug and alcohol use, combined with time in a low-heat sauna.

Then, special techniques help people recover their ability to live in the present. The traumatic past fades away and there is a bright, new perception of the present. Life skills training follows so each person learns how to deal with the ups and downs of daily life.

It Takes Time to Recover from Addiction Fully

The Narconon program is not fixed at 28 or 30 days. It is a longer-term residential program. No substitute drugs are ever used, and it is not a Twelve-step program. At Narconon, no one will ever hear that they have an incurable disease. Instead, the emphasis is on effective recovery. Narconon has a proven track record of success that extends back nearly 60 years.

Sources:

• “Lie detection accuracy and beliefs about cues to deception in adult children of alcoholics.” National Library of Medicine, 2020. NLM

• “The Relationship Between the Type of Crime and Drugs in Addicted Prisoners in Zahedan Central Prison.” National Library of Medicine, 2013. NLM

• “The Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Families and Children: From Theory to Practice.” National Library of Medicine, 2013. NLM

• “About Intimate Partner Violence.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024. CDC

• “What is Elder Abuse?” National Center on Elder Abuse, 2023. NCEA

• “Narconon Global Mission.” Narconon.org, 2024. Narconon

• “How to Escape the Rehab Trap.” Narconon.org, 2024. Narconon

Clinically reviewed by Matt Hawk BS, CADC-II, ICADC