Bottom’s Up

Some people say an addict or alcoholic who is in denial hasn’t hit bottom, but this concept is very problematic when applied to real-life.

First, there is no such place as “bottom.” It’s an abstract idea.

First, there is no such place as “bottom.” It’s an abstract idea. Some see it as a kind of plateau the addict reaches, a point at which reason finally fights back against the addiction and the addict, tucking his tail between his legs, comes begging for help. Trust me—this is a contrivance. I’m not saying that people don’t give up and ask for help. They do; many reach a point where they can’t take it anymore and stop. There are also a lot of people who reach a point where they can’t take it anymore and don’t stop. So—is there such a thing as hitting bottom for some people? Yes. But, can you count on it to happen at a certain time or in a certain way with your loved one? No. This is why families who need to do an intervention should go ahead and—do it. Anyone with a drug problem needs help. Don’t use their need to “hit bottom first” as an excuse to sit back and wait or do nothing about a problem you and everyone else knows is there and destroying your loved one’s life. If you need help, get help. Call Narconon today and ask them—the staff there is quite knowledgeable and can help answer questions about hiring a professional.

Dealing with Denial

The easiest way to deal with denial is to let go of the notion you must get your loved one to admit he’s an addict or alcoholic, any need you have for him to do that.

When an addict tells me he’s not really an addict, I don’t argue with him; I have no need for him to tell me he’s an addict. It doesn’t benefit either of us, and my pressing him on the subject will probably set things back before it moves anything forward. I’m not there to evaluate him. I am only looking for a way to get him to Narconon. The fact that a problem exists is easy to establish with or without the addict’s agreement.

That goal is much easier to reach if you do not make the addict wrong, invalidate him, try to wring a confession out of him or label him (even if you’re certain he deserves it).

Throughout an intervention, taking a position is a better solution than trying to write scripts in your head. Take the position that, although you may not be the one to evaluate whether your loved one is an addict, his current choices are taking him down a road you’re not willing to take, but you are willing to be part of his life and support him if he gives Narconon a try.

This is a strong position and does not require you to evaluate your loved one’s condition for him, blame him or inflict treatment on him as if it’s a punishment. You’re opening a door to a road you are willing to go down and closing the door to a road you are not.

Your task is to deliver him to the front door, to be supportive of him while he’s there, and to plant your feet firmly so he stays.

It may not be easy but it isn’t complicated. Keeping things simple will help open the door to a new life for the person you love.